Tuesday 14th August 2018      Thyme to crews…….

Cap’n Black Bart Aaaarrrggh !!!    Commands   Weigh Anchor !!!  

Crue o’ legs, feet, paws & pinkies respond

Aye !  Aye !!  Cap’n  !!!  Aaaarrrggh !!!  !!!

Will knead to regain hour sea legs. Smartly likes !

True Me Hearties !!  Aaaarrrggh !!!  !!!

We take flight, under cosy canopy o’brick, iron n’ stone.

Ascendancy commences soonly, wiv first quartet o’ very damp slippery aqualifts. Quartermaster be shirtenly won miserably pirate since leaving early morn. Thyme to secure those lines & make sum’won just a tittle less sorrowfully sadness. Aft hour safely pack’orse returnings t’ Bart, followed bye a b’fast & coffee cessation, Lister kneads t’ stretch & gently warm up a tittle bee’fore propulsion thyme. Lines slipped temporarily, & aft a muchly required service interruption provided buy Valley Wharf, Bartly swimmings Aaaarrrggh !!!  reconvened. Leagues o’ watery path horizontals hour floatations, only interjected bye t’ lone Bishopton ascent. Tis knot long thow,

& moor substantial combinations o’ chambers arisings hour craft in

too groups o’ trios & won pentathlon in’betweeners. Wid Wilmcote’s aquelevatorings smoothly & efficiently negotiated crue enjoy ta combination o’ wooded enclaves, open pastures, wild roaming critters, shallow waters & uniquely, very very tightly squeezy ‘split’ bridges.

Coxswain sensibly chooses wide water t’ flow up dis ascendancy.

A few tightly twisties smooth oat to Edstone’s ripples flying high

o’er these strangely tapering beams o’ gleamingly shiny materials !  Quite weir’d being upper, floating kinda air like dis !!  Lucky we is Pirates !!  Aaaarrrggh !!!   nb:Bartholomew Roberts 1682-1722 hath swum considerables moor leagues & heights than expected during dis voyage. Butt dat bee OK wid us. We bee knot only a few fathoms outside Wootton Wawen pools d’arbour. A Fine anchorage indeed !!

Wednesday 15th August      Wees on Barty jobs today while Lister & chums be in full relaxations a’plenty.

Thursday 16th August      Thyme to glide North from dis plaice, aft a walk t’ sea Yew Tree Farm’s offerings, wonce those tittle falling splashes from above had stopped. A pleasant aft’noon’s crews be unusual compared to many resent early swimmings, which ‘av bean moor t’ norm. A Mostly Pleasant change, d’alterations.

Wootton Wawen’s iron aqueduct swishes we int’moor wetly weavingly windings,

plentifully o’ them cosy tightly bridge ‘oles

aromatics l’countryside !!

And Gorgeous barrel vault roofed lock cottages

1st mate keeps a cuppell o’eyes on Skippet’s bateau ‘andling skills.

An’udder o’ dose lovely cottages, bye ascendancy & t’next (Yarningale) aqueduct.

Interestingly bunch ready to join hour crue o’ muttonly pirates Aaaarrrggh !!!

Friday 17th August      Fine !  OK !!  Yes !!!  Wheel get up early agin !!!  Groan !!!

(back two does “Good ‘ole daze”)  Aye !  Aye !!  Cap’n !!!   Aaaarrrggh !!!  !!!

Lowsonford chambers o’elevation steadily climb through ’em Warwickshire ‘ills, leading hour Lister powered floating vehicular l’domicile yet father upwards t’ l’bum o’ Lapworth, & then sum.

Stage one o’ Kingswood Junction opens up, two l’fore.

Swinging Bart two starboard, Skip guides us int’ narrow entrance, squeezing

hour floatations int’ Lapworth Link waters. Ear wheeze shall stay. Just four a while.

Saturday 18th August      Stay we do, too enjoy hour location, whilst we tweak a few tittle tings ‘ere & their, moor brassings, refreshing red side hatch edgings & varnishings o’er recent skillfully scumblings.

Sunday 19th August      Such an early commencement o’ duties this morn. Knead to swimmings a’whey along Lapworth Link, through stage too o’

Kingswood Junction, tacking t’ starboard on a Southerly heading, leaving travelling companion, Stratford Canal t’ stern, as we join t’ flowingly wider ripples o’ l’Grand Union Canal……

Wot a lonely heard they appear to bee. Hope they be knot two forlorn. Chuggens along t’ path d’aqua Lister (Bart’s very olde’ & Wonderfuelly vintage engine) & chums keeps propulsing Bart in a generally Forrard direckzione. Turner’s Green traverses Bart thru an extended deep cutting enveloped bye many a lusciously tall greenly living giant. Bridge ‘ole sixty too opens oat two splendid flowingly open countryside as l’aquepath flows a’top a high embankment. Back int’ cuttings &,

Then the BIG Dilemma !! Which Shrewley Tunnel shall Bart traverse ??  Toply dark ‘ole looks a tittle Smalley four Bart World 2018, soo Skip guides hour chuggens int’ lower tapering darkness o’ whole. Tis a moment oar trio o’ concernly worries. Luckily, awl goes reasonably well. Tis knot long aft “Popping” oat squeezy tight end that hour crue becomes considerably moor swollen. Many legs, pinkies & paws be added to hour posse. Tis pirates from t’ Good Ship Joy Louise, while she be in dry dock, four just a tittle while longer, we all ‘oaps.

Hatton Monster Flight o’ lochs totalling diciannove flowingly wide slippery aquasteps soon drops forrardly a’whey from us. To aid progressingly downwards Bart’s expanded crue o’ pirates swing int’ action. We e’en ‘av an’udder craft & crue t’ share all these lovely chambers wiv. Less than severn hundred & thirty toes a’falling & a mear league ov ‘orizontal traversings later, We Aaaarrrggh !!!   ALL safely downed !!    Aaaarrrggh !!!  !!!    Tip o’ South Africka’s Cape Peninsula provides Fine anchorage four a few ‘ers o’ nightlies. A handy supply o’ Grog & Salmagunchi is gratefully partaken ov !!  Aaaarrrggh !!!

Monday 20th August      My, buoy does extra paws & toes shore did ‘elp yesterday. A finely oiled machine. Almost. Anyhows. Just a tittle moor practise may bee necessary. Should get their soonly likes. ‘oapfully !   Pinkies & paws crossed !!   Niao we ‘av shrunk to ‘normal’ proportions, Cap’n Black Bart Aaaarrrggh !!!

leads hour craft down duo aquelevators from t’ Cape o’ Good Hope to Leamington’s lower levels. Aft quartermasterly calming measures & successful sheep rustlings chuggens forrard to

watery world o’ strange willowy green bridge ‘oles, and finally their it be. Radford Semele bay weir staticness can bee enjoyed.

Tuesday 21st August      Thus their shall bee a mixture of varnishings, brassings, crochettings & readings taken during many e’rs o’ daylight. Wot e’er dat may oar may’knot mean. You mayhaps knead t’ decide. We ain’t got a clue wot ‘he’ be on aboat, most ov ta thyme. Tell ya that fore nutting !!   Aaaarrrggh !!!

Mind dat tree skip !!!     Oh !  No !!   Too Late !!!

Wednesday 22nd August      Well, tis thyme four sum chuggenly troggings. ‘orizontally & vertically, in multipled quantities. Moor than mildly moist aqualifts a’plenty adorn hour route. A few chambers be shared. Sum knot. Octa’lochs steadily ascend nb:Bartholomew Roberts 1682-1722 to knew heights. Bart & hour arising companion nb:PercyB niao ‘av sum Fun !! playing switch aboat doos in Bascote’s duo staircase with an’udder descending (nb:Jameson) craft. We ‘av dun tis bee’four. We arisen lower chamber. Singular lowers in upper chamber.

adjoining gates opened, Bart glides forward, next ta ‘oncoming’ singleton,

companion shifts across behind Bart,

singleton swims away from Bart, next door to our companion, Bart glides across t’ udder side ov upper chamber, companion moves forward next to Bart, gates closed behind us. We ascend upper aqualift while singleton can niao descention lower slippery step. Job Done. Our boaty partner crewses off, wid Bart following. Aft watery faucet delay at Bascote Wharf craft n crue swim ont’ scratchily bay o’anchorage. Blackthorn & blackberry bushes fight fore position along t’ banks o’ t’ bay so while 1st mate lounges aboat, skip & skippet go a’foraging. Sum very tasty creations will come from this abundance o’ harvest !!!

Thursday 23rd August      Their bee men’ee slippery steps ahead. Aft negotiating a very itchy bottom & Shop loch leads hour vessel into caring & sharing wid nb:Double Dutch & her crue o’ Nederlands family. Stock’octan’s watery aquelevators assist our enjoyable ascensions wiv knew compatriots. Mid arisings we is e’en served proper coffee in lovely tittle dutch cups complete wiv fancy spoon. Fantabulous !!!  Aaaarrrggh !!!  !!!   Class !!   We shake hands as DD whizzes off, while Bart be intending t’ secure does lines sum’weir. We then decide ideal anchorage knot be available, so continue chuggens. Luckily fore we, Coxswain manages t’ keep DD just insight.

They kindly await hour convergence at Calcutt’s trio o’ aquasteps. Safely thru our tripple jump we raft up to a moored DD to borrow their ‘ole to refuel aquatank. Aft Goodbyes Bart tacks t’port at Wigrams Turn, as they be off t’starboard. Ciao !  Arrivederci !!  Aaaarrrggh !!!

An’udder few fathoms, knot quite a league, & Lower Shuckburgh Bay provides muchly kneaded shelter fore a very ty’red gaggle o’ pirates. Aaaarrrggh !! Zzzzzzzzzzzzz……..

Friday 24th August      Four their shall be staticness o’floatations. And Bartly workings o’ varnishings two engine room side hatches. Port n starboard. Final o’ trio coats. LOOKING GOOD !!!   BLOOMING GOOD !!! !!!   MARVELLOUS !!!  !!!

Saturday 25th August      Sail, we shall. Knot F’Aaaarrrggh !!! though. Just a tittle chuggens. A distance o’ too & a half bridges. Two bee almost exact. Tis aft’noon n their be Klingons off t’ starboard bow Aaaarrrggh !!!    A species all ov there own.  Muchly fruity broan sauce be enthusiastically enjoyed as salmagunchi flows off hour plates & bowls.

Sunday 26th August      So, aft relaxations o’slow Sunday morn, we reconvene wid Klingon buddies who turned up yesterday, out o’ knoweir. They bee pirates two. Actually, their bee at least eight legs walking aroand on dat ship t’ be moor accurate. A salmagundi feast o’ Magnificence & flowings o’ Grog mixed in wid muchly moor fruity broan sauce just completes the day perfectly.

Monday 27th August      My !  MY !!  MY !!!   Slow steady recoveries Aaaarrrggh !!!  kneaded fore all dose poorly headed pirates & Klingons. Knot much lively movement ‘happenings aroand ‘ear.

Love those Beautifully revived sternly doors !!!   Gorgeous !!!   Aaaarrrggh !!! !!!

Tuesday 28th August      Thous udder pirates quietly slunk a’whey in the darkness ov late thymes.

Shore they will ‘appen up’on t’ Famous Pirate Cap’n Black Bart  Aaaarrrggh !!!  agin, Won Day.

Hour ‘appy crue go’a crewsing, all t’ wey ta busy olde’ Braunston Junction, weir upon redesigns find hour floating vehicular in a most satisfactory o’ locations. Aft repeated requests 1st Mate enjoys a special treat, being a trip t’ local butchers. Lovely !!!

Wednesday 29th August      We bee swimming along t’ watery Oxford canal path,

spreading hour glidingly whey through shallow murkinesses, Bart’s forrard bow like nose gently slicing thru the calm surface, and t’ unsea’n dinginess below.

 

 

 

Onward,

we slither

thru many a

twist & turn,

And

sliding aloftingly

o’ long a plethora

ov extended

slippery linear traversings.

 

 

 

 

 

Strangely interesting alien like critters spy on us from a’F’Aaaarrrggh !!!  & reasonably close proximity hitherto craft & skip is bee ‘aving us arrive at Hillmorton’s trio o’ watery tumblings. Tis a trouble free downwardly floatation, moor than assisted by skippet’s skilful lockings. Followed buy quite sum period ‘orizontal strokingly travellings weir we end up almost int’ shadow o’ Clifton’s famous suspension bridge. Almost, butt knot quite. Almost I said !!!   Know knead t’ git carried a’whey is their !!

Thursday 30th August      Extravagance o’ a slight lay’in bee’four pirates ‘av t’ be ship shape & ready. Just a tittle voyage d’aqua t’ weir won can find quartermaster’s most favoured o’ plaices. Freshly food o’ t’ sea required t’ create tasty salmagundi. And t’ udder won. Very similar, butt also completely very different.  Maraudingly mjor’ing  pirates appear, creeping oat o’ t’ murky misty’ness. Lucky four them, Cap’n Black Bart Aaaarrrggh !!!   be in won o’v ‘is slightly better moods, so their bee knot any broadsides oar any ov dat malarkey. All quite pleasant really. Coffee wid a good olde’ dollop o’ fruity broan sauce stirred in proper likely.

Friday 31st August      Forrard duth Cap’n Black Bart Aaaarrrggh !!!  sail, all t’ whey t’ Rugby Wharf wear a tightly aboat turnly winding ensues, ensuring our craft can swim on a South Easterly Yaw, give oar take an angle o’ crabs. Their aboats, anyhows! Mayhaps !!!  Slipping aft’ thru Brownsover we waive a cheerio t’udder pirate cruise as hour slender craft swishes gently buy.

Tis almostly Blooming ages o’ levels ‘ardly bovered by a cosey quart o’ (incl. River Avon)  (Agin ! )  (Yeh !! )  (We K’no’w !!! ) aqueducts & broken a merely brief likes bye t’aqua’ascendants o’ ye’ oldie ‘istorical settlements o’ Morton n Hull. Hour vessel glides along gorgeously delights o’ greenly lusciousness a’larghetto. Very muchly as a ‘barge’ likely should.

Tis knot muchly thyme aft’ conversing wiv friendly fore leg’ged chumps, Bart & co Aaaarrrggh !!!  enjoying muchly kneaded relaxations a’plenty !!

Saturday 1st September      So ‘ear we marauding buccaneers shall remain unchangingly (almost) steady like, in Willoughby floatations. Thyme fore boaty jobbings. Skippet rubs/sands & ‘sundial yellow’ ( Yes !!  Bee True !!! ) primes starboard side saloon & galley hatches inner wood panels. Skip rubs/sands & ‘grey’ ( Boring !!) primes forrard & sternly hatches, tiller swan neck & boat hook poles. Yes !!  Poles !  Barticus hath bean sumwot extravagant with sum boaty bias acquisitions.

Sunday 2nd September      staticness deams we shall stay. Say us………  Yet an’udder Gloriously Sunny day. Barty jobs continue. Skip ‘Red Bounty’ Paints fore & sternly hatches, tiller swan neck & boat hook poles. Skippet scumbles starboard side saloon & galley hatches inner wood panels. Looking Fantastic !!!

Monday 3rd September      Thyme to swim. Tittle moor than half a league’s crewsings Lister delivers Bart t’ Braunston for a Most Splendid luncheon appointment with pirate chumlies visiting all t’ wey from southern coastal waters. Salmagunchi all munchly mixed up wid salmagundi simply lashed wiv strong fruity broan saucies. Truly Scrumptiousness !!  Many ‘ers later, wiv Lister primed & chuggen, aft’ sadly backslapping goodbyes Aaaarrrggh !!!  nb:Bartholomew Roberts gently swishes through Braunston, arriving at Wharf House Bottom Lock. Six Wide Slippery aqualifts stretch oat in front & increasingly above hour crew. Tis late in the day, quiet & too ‘ers aft’ slipping those village lines, craft & crue is safely anchored aft’ won hundred & seventy seven n a half  (Nasty ! )  (Very Painful !! )  ( Cannee e’en tink aboat it  UGH !!! )  toes o’ soggy climbings. Dark already. Just maid it. Amazing !!  Their weir a Bart sized ‘free’ (no charge) anchorage just waiting fore us. Perfeck end two a Lovely Day !!!

Tuesday 4th September      Int’ Darkness agin. A 2042 yd long decline’ingly reducing ‘ole d’ blackness. Almost squished oat t’end Bart leaps int’ light. Lister & chumlies propulsing nigh on thirty tonnes o’steel, wood & liquorice ov all salts o’ tings (which combine & mould together to May’k hour Wonderful floating vehicular nb:Black Bart). Norton Junction directs we’all int’ ripples flowing from Leicester, soonly followed bye two hundred & sixty two n a half  (We Know ! )  (Agin !! )  (Messy !!! ) toes ascendation o’ seven watery

Watford chambers. Love those doors o’ sternly !!!

Tis butt a gentile drift to a delightful bay fore n overnight stay……

Wednesday 5th September      We t’ crue o’ Cap’n Black Bart Aaaarrrggh !!!

awakening t’yet an’udder mirky, cold, windy & moor than mildy moist salt o’day……

Mass’eave crewsings on this fine morn. ‘ardly a third ov a league, if e’en dat & a Fine anchorage appears. We ain’t in any rushing. Just Chill !!   Aaaarrrggh !!!   Moor Barty jobs. Those scumbled side hatch panels is niao being varnished. Maj-eak !!  Second coat applied to boat hook poles, tiller swan neck, Sturn & four hatches two. Gorgeous colour ! Ayes !!  Lovely !!!

Thursday 6th September      Their weir a surprisingly hurly start aft’ Lister wakens we pirates most rudely !  Stupido’clock !!   Really  !!!   Aaaarrrggh !  !!  !!!   Tote’ally annoyings !!!   Anyhaps, swim we do, almost straight int’

tubular ‘ole d’Crick, amassing a near fifteen hundred & twenty eight yards

fascinating o’slimy darklynesses. Help the sliding motion required to squeeze on through, so t’speak. Forely int’ light we reappear traversing our whey along an adequately watery path, swathing bye verdantly delightfulnesses.

Morning Girls !   Looking Good  !!    E’Specially You Daisy  !!!

Lunch is almost ready. Hotly sausage rolls, freshly (almost) baked. Delish’iousness !!

Onwards nb:Bartholomew Roberts voyages North, journeying amongst the pastured meadows surrounding our every tack, dis wey n dat. Aft’ a sip oar too o’ mead, mayhaps e’en moor, da crue ‘av ser’cumbed & staticness is bee finally met towards t’ end o’er a pentathlon ov ‘ers swimmings. Shallowness only creating an occasional vexed exasperation from skip. Welford Junction is butt a few ripples ahead o’ Bart’s nose.

Friday 7th September      Only a few short strokes o’propulsings from olde’ Lister

& chummies directions craft n crue to a suitably interesting entree. A Fine looking berthing pool d’anchorage if e’er their might bee.

Saturday 8th September & onward we go ………      Our trusty four wheel steed ‘Nell’ hath sumwot miraculously arrived from (Very) Safe restings during hour sustained Bartly crewsings o’er parstly months. Static our glorious ‘powered’ floating vehicular will maintain fore a while. Crue o’ eight legs oar moor is off rolling t’ deepest Darkest Kent visitations amongst udder tings & plaices.

Soonly followed up buy a mostly moistly butt clever negotiation of t’ Solent,

to a F’Aaaarrrggh !!!  distant land to sea a duo o’ write tittle picaroons.

 

Knot shore wear we be oar when it weir butt you

Mayhaps eventually find Cap’n Black Bart Aaaarrrggh !!!

& ‘is slightly strangely weir’dly crue o’ legs toes n paws agin.

Ye may ‘av t’ hunt using a secretly pirate map if dat can be found firstly like…..

Aye !!  Aye !!  Cap’n  Aaaarrrggh !!!  !!!

Good Luck !!!

oar

Bad Luck !!!  !!!

as da case mayhaps bee ………